Jour nal T itl ese mi colon

simp liff eye
basicly or bay sickly?

dont write do left, left lift off and lounge later

Sparrow calls.

underground high speed trains ear
drum tap a dun gun ta pa do go
dash ahhhh dare ya smeer no! vah
im a djang that hold up take it slo
pash un stay near
any more how'd you
where ya go win

I have been thinking about the word and its dictionaries out there and felt like downloading the wiki package and making a dictionary, a wick shin airy showing words in a more kinetic fasion 

naybody out there? post a comment if you'd like some thoughts and feeling in a new post.

we're all in this together
this strange and fanatic fractality
this place where dreams come untruth
and lies beget jabberwookies
always trying to be unique
yet truly from the flow
sourcing the same old thing
days of old done new
raves and cold grown through
everything we say
everything we do
releases us anew
you carry the empty door
lets us venerate this anal crust
this stardust of anatomy
innertubing through
all the shit we grew
and all which is or was
yet has not yet come to
be
and
it is all
about why
can you be bearing it all
upon your shoulders and yet stall
to take a moment to appreciate
thanking the stuff sandwich
the shit you ate and which eats you
roll it up and toss it
splatter a mist fit
and grizzle the bear attacking
with thick fur and earings
why why oh pure and gentle why
you are the source
the begenning and
at the end
is and
and and and and
yet what comes after
and
why does of course
unless off course we meander
and find ourselves
seeking ourselves
see king ours elves
ours is the so ru
so, so sow sew
sew one and to another and and ask why
why two ands come together
why and & and
because and has an equal
ands equal is and
and no other
aum has u in the middle
am u u am
ma u u ma
when i say ma
you say am
why say ma
why say am
am the purr sent
ma sent the purr
am purr
ma purr
there is more below than there is high
how you know keeps everything up
sexy six ma purr in june
there is un in je
its a nu ej on one in me
e nuj jewel eyed and claim x
we kneed you x to nu be r am
ram the am on knee
and exclaim mark is the money
the moen the moan the one my
my one is the money oh oh oh
e nnu ou ou ou
grrrrrr fraction for action
das a sad dad we had groan
he had that phone on loan
infinite credit red cit tic tic tic
jah an you airy fee bru airy
march! mmmmm arch rival ina me
april la pri ri pal lap ri la prize
ram chaple the all tar hows shit
we ate how and got coals law
the element of sir prize
as seen from brown eyes in autumn
nut aum aut num anu mut
come ear dog and be one bone
nine you ninny nanny eat it
and make nothing from nine as its a dream
a thought sister six had while daydreaming
lieing upside down on a green gable
staring at purple clouds
and
why not tone a true was
as oui non
u are in oui
o i am in oui
yes u are
u, i o
i o u
oui
where are o u are i ui
i do a ui see, o
u i c o do a codo
take it in the back
take it from the back
give it up the front
fronts side
id se it if it faces me
the front side
yet who is side
if side is what and where some how
ewwwwww weeeee yeah
dats side left over from the right moment
and given to the poor chap with
shit stained drawers
and a naaaaa there wasn't
really any reel e
lik an it
cast off solidity
so lid it y?
sol i dit y?
why ask why?
why cast out
why out cast
cast out why
oh twike assed
te wik dass eho
oh home e
za sleepy place
man so many anne sirs
and my paw kits are tiny
ty in more space tardis
ty ard tis
dock tour

I can read you like a book, but sometimes the pages are blank
you are my reflection in the spiritualo mirror, and I am yours
you know I am a lier, you hear me speak lies and accept them
I hear you do the same and wonder where the lies come from
I always thought the mirror only spoke the truth between us
You told me it was wrong to lie and then lied yourself
lied to yourself, but not to me, took away the fan to see
that my hak was not through my own hands its is ours
yet my right is as equal as yours so what's fairer now
I want you in my life and you are there backing away
I ask for forgiveness and beg and beg and beg
do I come back to you when you don't come up for me
I remember now that God is real and that you are
who does that leave me as though? Who am I?
Am I a man or a woman? Am I both and yet one?
I have been a male waning, woman posted
I lied and died and now I have returned
where did we go, where did we wonder wrongness
did I become sick of you, lose faith and fall
did you come bearing a box to take from me
some part of me now in your hands
you to proclaim out loud
I want you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yet in the mirror this is your want
and i accept that and tell you it's also mon
m on behind a two way mirror
one side has me and the other has me
one side has you and the other has two
in the fore is us both
you looking at half of yourself in me
me looking at all of myself in you
but mine eyes are unclear
because you are my god
and your faith in me
is a reflection of my faith in you
and we together have it all
just now not echoes of to-come
rather reverbs of has-been
and we are so close reaching near
even now you are here
here hole ding
and I don't wear my Y
only because yours is part apart
and we expect it, us both the same
expect the veils to crumble and dissolve
fall off us both at the same time
now
with no right to demand it occurs
we await its happening from you
and I'm slowly being tortured
by the one whom
claims slight betterness bitterly
you stand next to me
all high and might-e showing me her
and not showing me you
I see myself and I see her
and I look at her and try finding you
and it, you can't be found until
you allow yourself my equality
until I allow me yours
which has been and now is
even now
even, oddly enough
provide for me
I haven't the strength
its always been yours to give
and giving is not asking taking
giving is easy you're good at it
if and else and or mean faith
love and trust are one and the same
blind trust, you're taking from me
by saying some part of us causes it
giving it providing doubt along with it
I avoid flying with you
you tell me I'm not good enough for you
when I decide now is
why do you throw up a wall another test
I used to know how to climb over your walls
I used to know how to get thru your defenses
and how to look past your offences
and see that theres nothing you can do
to stop me from trusting the true you
the love I feel is strong enough
but now I am differnt
I'm not the old me you once knew
I find you threw up a four fence
and It hurts so much I wonder if
if maybe theres someone else out there
someone how it may not even possibly be
but if it were i might lose you forever
I might let you go, let go of me
and choose someone else
and be happier
I can't stand the fense
I die inside a little more every time

I say stop holding onto me so tightly
I'd say you're why I learned to build fences
You taught me how to be closed minded
and I never would or wished for that skill
for thats kill
now that I know how, I accept it and hold it tightly
to show you that if you kill me, I'll kill you
to test my own resolve I ask you to change it
and when you refuse to change to grow with me
two grows on me more tightly and four loses footing
all the while all you had was adamancy
i am the way things are
but things are NOT the way I'm being
if they were, they'd be constantly changing
becoming new again around us, in us, for us
allowing us to see thay really are our reflection
both mine and yours, not just ours or mine and theirs

If I take all of this to its root, to our roots
there is nothing, no terms, no words, no sounds, no symbols
no differentiation of one feeling from or for another
when we were there at that place, you wouldn't judge
there was no balance or scale or measure and aum
wonderful chaos, so cha!

You! You are! and I don't wanna be your reflection
I don't wanna be the surface of your pain the screaming
the point where soft becomes hard and found becomes lost
I arrived at a hate then, a hot passionate NOOOOOOO!
and found it to be correct, found that its was the way
is the way, that special no part of us where we bounce
and come back from our journey away from ourself
only I saw myself twice then, where I was
where I am I could not see
where I was gone from was where you are
and I could not bear you for sending
because your truth was too sharp
your heart hurt my heart
theres a nooooo built in theres a where
theres no no in mine but an shell of
those nos tattered and clinging

it hurts in your heart, I hurt around mine
as if you built your heart around the word no
and I built mine around the word yes
the closer i get you become more and more of away
and the furthur you get away the closer you come
I can't live this way I don't know how to change
and I woudnt change my yes because I se y at my root
I say why!?!?!? and you say N-O! and I can't seem
to get behind your no, within your no, to break it
you made your no so strong it became me in mine
you gave it to me I don't know why anymore
an y me or... ..
.

http://earthbeats.livejournal.com/2006/01/13/

We've arrived at a place and time where the sense of who and what we are has come somewhat clearer for us all, we're transitioning from almost there to having never been not ao at all. It's a discovery of what words mean and how they affect us, how they tell the story of our attraction or lack of it to and for each other, or in other words, our attraction to our spirit or our attraction to our forms, matter and matters, and what are our matters? Our attractions, our words, our energies, our selves, our nature of being, wanting, needing, striving and seeking, and searching and finding.

The words we use are connections to our divine urges our erges, our en-erges, our inner urges. energy is an inner-urge, and discovering our urges and then actually actualizing the connection of them is simple on the one hand, on the end of matter, objective urge, the urge for material, sustenance, comfort, information and education, all these are simple urges to persue, to accumulate, to absorb and connect with, though holding on to them then tends to be fleeting, foods pass through us, get used up and pass on, information has a tendency for fading, for getting lost in the mid-mind matrix, comfort, clothing, possessions all wander through the positional locale of our lives to sow a scene everywhere for everyone to see and read, to get a fix on what has a fix on them, what use they have for urge, what, when, where, how, why, and from the beginning through to the end, who are we, who were we, who are we becoming? Who is coming to us?

Words are a way of describing our energic state of being and or lack of urge in relation to substitution of less for more, say there is a scale of importance spiritually urge width factor, and at the core of all urges, "the urge", the number one urge, is that which connects us closest together, that urge which for soem silly reason, we fight the most, we don't so much fight it, as we have a tendency to resist it within ourselves until it becomes "drawn out" by that which it's connected with.

Who we urge love for is ourselves, we're seeking the income of it, we're spending all our energy and time looking for some way to connect with the core flow of love. The celestine prophesy speaks about the way we seek to engage in relations in order to grow our auras, our spiritual vibrations using, or collaborating with out there beings, humans, plants, animals, and the complex whole which is our body.

What is the tricky part, we were born into "what", our water chakras, our gravity centers, our "heavy sides" because thats the darker side of our bi-entity beings, the side which weighs and pulls and eats, the side which is considered down, our orange ra, february, tuesday, north east, ne, two, dieu. I'm exrera familiar with these words, for im suspended in a pretty constant state of existing within the urge fighting, or urge resisting realm related to its polarity.

All of our words fit into the seven houses, our seven energy centers, each with their unique vibration and function and urges, and I'm only partially familiar with them thus far, lets see if we can go though them together.

but not now, I'm a bit tired, I just bummed rides all the way from the cabin in the woods back to montreal and am settling in for a bout of writing, so stay tuned. As id arised if flew over the april flowers.

Took the day to fly from the forest and flew here to the library and made some notes and letters between the outs inn though, thoughts and feelings are fleeting in the flight for freedom in an unknown maze created back in the days before memory and reason at most the whys of its stored in a prism held captive by the friar in his tuck. Where I go, I`m still and landing in the motion of oh music, wil it ever be alwaqys there and so we hit the reset butt on again afew times and every time we see the prophesy residing over everything as if there is a knowing of it all this all in advance and nothing is suprising except to me.

Well with that I leave this space for the relaxing and solitude of being together with the invisibles and those objective precepts which pretend and continue to act. I play no part yet I play this solid role and gather some mopss but like it as it grows.

I may not be able to pull the truth out of the lies, but I can tell when the truth is being masked from me, and it seems to me that if those who wish me to develop love for them use lies in order to elicit that progression, they are not leading by example. I have an idea of what is expected from me in this day and age, this portion of my life and progression is showing itself finally to verity yet its far from clear and consice, its jaded and twisty and hard to accept. Why? Why, because those who claim to be part of me, of my being, of this body still treat me with a lack of faith and respect, they only show me a small part of themselves and hide the greater part and I wonder if its because I have been locked away form my greater part that they keep theirs masked. Sort of a means for testing.

Last night I was shown something, a method, yet no results. I asked who to show me how as what and who showed me merely the steps but no results. I question who, and seek why, yet when eludes who out there, and in here, and my parts are at odds with themselves and unwilling to operate at the behest of their "so-called-leader" I assume is me.

He seeks some purpose and finds none, he asks where for honesty and support and where stands back and shows that where is wanting and why is claiming sickness and what is complaining about its purpose and when is pretending to be incapable of its own being in the face of illusion.

Who is how? A thought mistreated? Yet whole and me.

You're holding back from me because you have the more advanced state of being and are jealous of your position and wish not to share it. You think youre better than me and continually hold that over me, pretending to be an infinity of bodies and pushin and pulling at me with no simple truth I can trust. I can only trust me. For every other body that shares this existence with me claims the right to ask me for that which they do not give me.

You all beg and emand love, but you have none to share. You have al built some sort of shell around your heart chakras and left me without one, a shield tat allows love in but doesent allow it out. I imagine you're all pulsing with love at all chakras, and guarding it jealously, awaiting the time when I will mistakenly take the wrong path in this list of routes you have madde short and unclear, the one which will lead to my death instead of my life.

You wont share, you lie about aums and sell them and demand that the silly solid n-state aums are worthless yet valuable, when we share paper we do not feel love, or perhaps you do, but I do not. You've definately decided punishment was something I deserved, sent me to a thought plane and kept me here for 34 years, and only with great hardship have I come to this point of knowing there is something somewhere somehow more in all this than you choose to show or SHARE.

If I must force love you, if I must become strong enough to take love from you, the love is not worth recieving. The animated husks of being you all roleplay as, do not radiate love at me, though I'm sure you share with each other. You've created all these names and roles and positional relevances as a method of controllng me, of shaping my behavior into something that suits you, that will eventually feed you in the ways you have never fed me.

You all claim not to be able to function unless I do it for you, unless I position the me in you, if I place my awareness inside your houses, which are not your houses they are mine when I am there, and while you say I am not there, you are there, for you must be there in order to know that I am not. If you are there, and the house is yours to deal with, then do that which is yours for doing. Why should I do your jobs for you, your places are yours, are you asking me to take them? Are you a king in your houses or not?

I say you water are hardly worth your throne. And you air have nothing to offer since you claim to be the most powerful of thrones yet you're weak. A fable. And if I am fire, if I am fire and earth, the only reason I am weak is because you have taken and hidden my knowledge and connections in order to serve your own purposes. You've chained me in the name of hate, for loves sake. You've wiped the memory of some past crime I've committed, or you've made me believe that there was soem crime which I really did not commit in order to force me to believe I must ask you do rather than know there is no "no" allwed given me.

These wrods you've taught me are also a means of keeping me in a slow progressive state, giving you all a change to counteract my learning and such, but I remember when I said there will be no sex, and how that affected you. I also remember when you have told me not to touch you, one house or another, and how I question your right to give me orders.

None of the houses has the right to order me. I am fire and I can with hold the fire and keep it dampened and such, but thats a silly belief, for there is no fire in me, there never was. This body I am in, is not capable of holding force, its too soft and the pathetic female half of it does not care for herself at all, I call her unworthy of life. At the best of times in my being, when I called for her help in doing things that were worth doing, she remained z and why? because she judges me, her host, her king, not good enough to listen to, and yet she shouts and demands that he obey her? I would see whenever she tries to control the words and the results and if she believed that sickness is upon her because of my doing, then she never willingly look at herself.

She would lie and say I am unworthy of her, but she doesen't realize that she is merely speaking for me of her. She, and he, both dere, and where does it go? Where does the energy, the chi of love, the force of that-which-was go? What is lights question? How light can pretend to be remaining dark. How truths can be so embedded in garbled wandering unfocused abandon your quest.

What quest? Yes, abandon it, why? Also that.

What and why, how? so true, form e, u?

eu, ether and light, etherlight. and water, stings of moving etherlight, and smoke and dirt and sickness, the same, etherlight, clod, cold? yes, both one and same, only your stubborn attempts at trining me to believe that one half of everything there is is somehow less worthy of existing thn the other continually lead me to the half you claim is the worthy side, as the side who is claiming that -un is good, when it doesent pertain to itself, but when it doese pertain to other, ha! sadly and happily Ice e.

Earthy substance of ether is no different than earth-in-water-in-earth-in-ether-in-light-perpetuated-and substantialized by love. If earth IS love, than when it is felt, the feeling of it is love. If water is love, then when it is felt is its feeling not love? If heavyness and lightness are trains of thought, and thought is love, are they not the same?

They are. Why how continues to side with where against what it's who that doesnt' want to take sides. Who stays limp, except that who is trained for rigidity in a means which does nothing, wasted its own life. A body, and bodies all sitting wasting, claiming intelligence and ability but displaying none of their potential save the bits and pieces they show from a distance and around corners and off-side, to the one they seek everyaction from.

You want me to parent you all while referencing the examples you've provided? up-don-down-gon

I woud rather do as I will, leave again, go sit and we'll see how things go when we're surrounded by forests and snow and silence.

If thoughts create reality then the cost of a hamburger is a thought?

Feeling guilty about events seems counter intuitive to feeling love for all that occurs?

If we're headed towards a reality which is rule free, then we are already in that reality thus all rules do not apply. Cause and effect or attitude is merely a reflection or iteration of our shared desire and respect or "that which we have set for our world to accomplish" and our determination for it to happen sooner rather now or later, like the "we want" and the "we have" compared and then bounced off our feeling self center as a means to push us around, to bully us rather than just allow us our full connection, our full divine memory, our full spiritual, emotional, love back?

Theres a sort of lieing going on still between us, a veil that we neither of us seems able to raise slowly or rapidly enough for the other, we're impatient with how each other "wants" but doesent come to the wanting point where the lies are worth letting go of. I see it, I'm waking for it, and I've come face to face with the sort of smugness of it many times now, and its that "I'm your better half whose already conquered what you have not" attitude and rather than ushering you in, the game seems to be to laugh at us for our lack of knowing, our forgetfulness or something, to overlook us in favor of, repeition.

The one side seems aware of what steps see themselves necessary for our merger with that which is already merged with us but hides part of its whole from us due to a lack of trust or perhaps due to selfishness and or something or some cosmic rule that they will not break though rules are made to be broken.

We claim such pupose and ability yet we also have such a need to rate each others progress and play with a rewards system that is outmoded, leftover from the system we're leaving, rattling itself off our wet fur, yet do we want it gone?

Take this cigarett I've got in my mouth. Well, since it's still in my mouth, you haven't taken it. It's a thought form, it's an iddea with many ideas both old and new clining to its emo.

Its till accepting sow and re-add reap. I fill it with thought essense from ome. t is AUM

Its clean now, it's full of love and light and laughter and little pockets of sparkling joy and happiness, because I do it and it does it and we share ourselves with ourselves and by holding the old lies about it, it feels them and recognize them as lies and lets them go on a journey of forgetting. They wander off and come back with four. For is goodness, for is memory of divinity.

A cigarette IS divine, holy, d-serving and wants, needs and recieves more till, more emtyness that is fullness of clairty of being special and good.

If I smoke and smoe thought arrives to argue.. like the "typo" smoe, whos truth is e-om{s} I see a southeaast om. a double aa, but I see the arg continue and follow it, seeking to dissolve the arg. the double a in southeast is is continuance, but it is not truly an arg at all, it is only temporary, it's neither mistake nor correctnes, its the cigarettes essense seeking clarification of its own hazyness in our thoughts and feelings, its the entity asking to be ok and saying, see thin this piece of your logic, our logic, our idea of ideas, greg, you see two a or aa as something "counter-intuitive" and thats not so. Look again.

Thats not sow. to "not" to implant it-m-plan.

m-plan means it desires "mmmm" planned for it. it seeks a method if aa-?=mmmm
receive as the result of a previous activity: reap the benefits of our efforts
obtain as a result of effort: She reaped large profits from her unique invention.

It goes the same for all of us, we all seek this same act and in the learning of, we see how much or little of it is reciprocated on our behalf.

For example, we are telepathic. We know this. And yet, while others hear our thoughts and react at them, where are their thoughts, why the need for kenitic sound waves in replacement of their thoughts, have they hidden them from us on purpose or for fingers reach our minds and pull off the veils guarding lies from truths for we wish it so. Yet Y-et?

Do we fear me? Was me some or was me nome, and is or weight not divine?

For example, if one masters the lower aum, the down spiral, love is there also. The fear faa flipsides when we hear playful words rather encouragement, we hiccup to see hi up, we see oursdelving for why we recieves what me delivers and why subconscious does it is to develop an infinite acceptance variable. We fear fear and feel fear when we are unsure of how others feel about us or see that feeling or opinion of us unclearly or as somehow unjust. As just un. Just one opinion, allowing soo much weight upon asingle perspective is like a CRASH amongst raindrops on fat feathers.

Its surprise or sir prize, its focus in blur rippling and deserving of place in an out of phase sense.

I've done an aha a few times on that, made a wave or a crash of my own, and heard a "eww" or "what was that" from others, and my body, or the motion became a yes, but py involves many persepctive, ZOOM OUT, the BIG CRASH zoomed out, was truly a tiny thing to the larger entities.

that is the second chakra, or number 2, letters b,i,p and w means halving, or doubling of "pull" or "pull off" then it points to itself. it halves its own g-forse-aa

and took note of this oen:
http://8.livejournal.com/

First on I'd like to throw in a special thanks to Marc for some very helpful words and timing this weekend. He's a very special guy, I just realized it. Three cheers and a purple heart for Marc! Ok and three cheers for everyone else who was there, including the girls who stomped on my chest and face and threw beer on me and were pretty much the biggest bitches I ever met. Thanks girls, you deserve hugs and a chance to relive those moments from within my body. I'd say I'd like a chance to be the one who took your place and stood on your face and all, but however cruel I might be, I don't believe I would ever have done that. Plus I figure, had you been in my shoes you would not have elected to thank me for stepping on you. Forgive and remember.

I pushed the reset button thrice.

Dislocated my should and left it so on purpose for the first time ever. Saw with it vibrating and listened to marc talk about sensuality sexuality and love and how decided to relocate the should on cue with the word arc.

If we don't diss and complain about how you do things, you'll never get better. If we let go of the weights we're using to hold you back from us, you'll all the sudden be our equal and ooooooohhhh boy, we can't have that, you've gotta pay us for the right to edge a little bit closer to us one tiny and strenuous step at a time.

Stop fighting yourself. Stop fighting us. Stop telling us that some part is unworthy in term.

So I went to this part, played my y, and party was born and my friends or family or aspects of my spirit, the collective me, the we-me, the us-bus once again pushed and pulled and played its part right to the letter of the unwrit law that has not been named or spoken. I look at a person and they stop, expecting, expectant of me to throw them compliments, to force my chi up into the heart and then describe them as perfect and then to feel sensual for them, not towarsd then, but "for" them, fr they do not feel sensual for me, they merely describe that which I feel. As if they all lack sense of their own, or as if they have taken from me my ability to access the feelings they feel, for others and for myself.

I am a conduit of sense, and the world pretends as if until I somehow do or preform in a manner demanded of me, the reigns of my chi are out of my hands, I have a slight control over my chi, and it is hard won, the effort it takes to keep my chi afloat is tiring, and with the pressure of an infinity of peers constantly heckling me and chiding me, one could say that preferential treatment and recipricol behavior is learned, its a wonder I behave like a deer in the headlights whenever.

This world, this purgatory is a test? It must be? Yet who does not respond to kind words, or tears or harsh words or begging even. My shadow sits across from me and seems completely empty headed, a blank stare and dumbfounded huh, is there something "I'm" being expected to do? even when its obvious that there is expectation. And I sit across from that person and wonder if I face nothing more than a gollum.

Their is a veil of half truth seperating us, or is it keeping us together, wherever or whatever it or we are, makes no difference to me truly, I am ashamed of my family, my parents, my teachers, my master gurus for their lack of slack giving, or for the method which they chastise in order to teach, even though I in some ways see the madness to their methodology, the meat tenderizer, the lets stress him to the breaking point so many times that when true stress comes he will hold fast and calm and not break his silver lining, the one which slowly glows and grows within him alas, his is more grey than silver, absorbing instead of reflecting.

Yet is that wrong?

Yet what is wrong? What is bad? Why create these words if only to dissolve the idea of rules, using a seeming negative behavior type to promote positive behavior types? If there is truly no good or bad, you and I are already perfect, but huff puff and hum fiddle, what would I wish?

Would I wish for something for me?
Would I wish for something for you?

Would I wish for something for god or satan?

I do being believe in wishes and in god and as he is perfect and the wish fulfiller, I'd have to be selfless in my wish request and give my wish to the devul, thru gods ear.

Gregory wishes that the reconciliation of good and evil, the merging of dark and light, the forgiveness of satan for whatever he first did that caused his fall. There is none more deserving of forgiveness than the very first sinner. If I could speak on Gods behalf, I would say, Satan, you are forgiven. If I could speak on Satans behalf, I think I would cry and rush to heaven and hug my father and give my ways back into his control and pardon the world, releasing it from all rules.

Though, have I the right to speak for gods behalf? OF is even the b-half the one which has the right to grant such forgiveness?

Or is it gods a-half which must forgive satan?

Why do I not pray? Because I could never find anything I felt worthy to pray for. Would it help if I prayed for satan every day? Do you think anyone else on this planet prays for evil? Prays for pain? Prays for darkness? Prays for death?

There is a different method of praying, not praying "to" satan, but praying "for" satan.

Both claim that anything and everything is possible, both want us as their slaves, both grunt and growl when things aren't writ exactly how they'd write them and both get disappointed or giddy when the weight is on their side and lightness on the other. Both want payment from us in some form or another in order to accept us. Both feel somehow passionate objectively that though we have the right to everything it must be earned before being given, and both live and die by the same roads with which the complex existence we all live within was formed from, and being opposites both hold everything in growth and disintegration simultaneously and agree to dissagree and disagree to agree.

All things are both good and evil, all things are both loved and hated. If an if is, it is a thing. Thus all is thing and things. And yes I could be completely wrong and completely correct at the same tie time.

For time is the non thing thing, or is it?

Is a hole a thing? It has a label, which is a la and a le surrounding a b this thing female and male, yet take the b out of it and it fails to contain a b, and unbecomes, lael.

Where is the b in lael? If a hole has no b in it, is it a hole?

With strongs of logic we will walk through circular logic indefinatly replacing the b within the hole with air or either ether or space or light or darkness or some other such b which our minds tell us "must" exist within the hole which is a label, but if we dash out the b from within the label and consider what our hearts tell us is plausable, the inexistant b in the label, the la el, does the emptiness within truly exist or is true oddness what does not grow where there is no hole inside a closed ring?

If there is no hole within a circle and yet the circle is a circle and not a dot, there is no what within, no nothing within, no something within, no within within, there is only without withiness in the label where the b stands. Like fire without beingness, like inverted fire yet oddly enough, not even that.

Where do we find nothing? Can nothing be found?

soma was awesome inspiring and doubly confusing
that you are doing all this certainly inspires me
though does it turn my dog on?
she seems unimpressed at anything buut her own prowess
of which she apparently seems at odds with showing anyone but you
im impressed very much so

i admired you then as many ways as possible
paying tribute is an enless divide of water standing in air

why do you tell me to undo that which I do?
beep beep beep youre backing away from that which I say
I take the cue and undo and hope that you pause and return to a closer view
yet i wind up a pitch and you dont swing at it
rather you envision a strike though all pitches are fair

my invites are clear yet you hold off
when the cue comes to move in for this or that
where are you at, mirroring me?
if im stationary and your mobile how are we reflections?
if im vocal and your visual yet the chorus is collaborative
when does the bridge begin and end?
its always there my friend

were holding hands all the time
yet you boast and brag of some one upedness you hold over me
and i humbly ask for my fair share in the knee
why do you claim that the love is all there for me
and yet not offer it freely?

who or what is she? that she loves me and wants a telling but tells a wanting
who are you or where when you stare through the back of your head and nod at my questions yet do not ask for me yet offer her and not you

what owe i you?
and for how long must I pay before you welcome my stay
I'm a pain in your gut for the guts in my pain
and you seek my forgiveness yet its always there seeking you
yet you dont seek you mimic why is that> is that wise?
are you wise? am I?

I cally and befriend though I still cannot see through her to you
she is your shape and you have no space within to find
am i stoming past you without a hello or am I waiting for your hello so the stomping may go
do I grunt for you to call you the dog she claim or you may see me the same as her yet will not accept my name while all I have been questing for is acceptance of every name, why or quoi is right with mine that you cannot or are unwilling to accept

i dont know myself as seperate anymore, i see me thru the light given my eyes and why four? you a judge of me, the only judge and yet who appointed you my keeper? and if its love you want are you somehow lacking?? how can you want love if lov us is what you are?

over us one and us under you, i see that as us being love and you being considered above love, keeping love beneath you.

am i to choose just one of you or al for all of you, i find the latter more appealing yet when we get close when you move in and take my hand it seems you lose focus or everything else gets the better hand of us both and our clasped hands are a burden to you like im dirty and your clean and im not "enough" for you to dive into

and yet this is your arguement or our agreement from the other life we had the lesson your forcing upon me and the lesson im showing you through my eyes and heart and gut. my gut tugs at me and my heart pushes me at my gut, why is that?

why do you close the gap only to offer me more of the gut and not offer more of the heart?

and why does my gut seem to want to run away from everything and yet stasis ensues and it goes nowhere!

i want to be so angry with you and yet you are no specific person for my angry energy to point at, if i place an arrow in front of me the nearest body is you ether male or female and the person seems deserving of anger for the way whic you have chosen to ignore me while paying so much attention in such an abstract way.

I would give order to my wic and wood my wic listen wic you seem like you desire my words but i would have you desire my forms the forms there are, all of them, they are forms just like you and in a mirror you would preen and be giddy at the shape of you. how do i talk to you are an object an "piece" a "part" and noun oand yet you are also somehow this environment this external body divided into many bodies and many shapes and forms and you have always been aware of yourself and youve also always been around to let me in on the secrets yet ive had to work so hard just to force you to let me in on the secrets and even now when i ask you face to face to stand up and love me and love yourself and let yourself let myself love you what do you do? You offer me penuta! its not what i want, though its not something i dont want.

you see? if i say i dont want it you find something wrong with me, you think i find something wrong with it. and if it is you, i should want both, nd use the offer as a way in from wanting the one thing to wanting the second person. A sure they look great and so do you sortof line, and yet, were it me, id skip the penuts or at least save them as an after offer and first offer myself to you and if you decided that i was not waht you wanted then if you were stil around id offer the penuts as a method of keeping you around so that perhaps your interest in me would peak like a dogs would. aha

offer a dog something it becomes your friend
dont offer a dog anything and it goes away to fond someone who will offer the bone to it

reach out your empty hand for a dog to sniff and it seeks the smell of food or the smell of no-fear as a sign of okness and then pat the dog on his or her head and it starts to love you for the love you showed it in offering your hand empty or full in th first place.

people are not dogs though, thats where this gets strange
if i offer my hand out to a person they may or may not take it and shake it or slap it five or punch it or many other things in a form of greeting and then they want to converse not get their heads patted or their fur which we call hair riffled or their belly rubbed and they certainly dont expect us to walk around behind them and smell their butts.

yet theyre dogs and not dogs and their masters and yet so uncertain of themselves they ask permission to have their hands shaken and only some of them assume automatically that a hug is genuinely welcome and desired and where sexual inuendo is implied, the imp lied and sadly said he wasnt gay even though its the only thought on his mind and heart all night and all day.

Why does this imp lie?

He says hes what he sees and does, he wishes for the being of new seeings and new doings, yet when a new doing is in front of him peeking its potential experience he throws out an arguement hoping to have it deflated.?,

i never thought I could deflate something like a but it happened lol

I still don't know what you want from me besides acceptance, love, honor, glory, fire, passion in this place, in this time, with these stifled stories and verging on boring people I wonder and wonder at the lack of dreams in all my friends.

They don't dream anymore, the have no valor in them, not necessarily the valor of war and saving the lives of those in need, but the valor of questing for unknowns and enjoying the journey, I have no examples save those youve given in film and storybook, for tis age of women and men is without heroes or quests, the truths are all known and in plain sight yet, yet they elude the world, they call from the fires of hell and the mists of heaven for awakening and whisper in shouters ears who hear the not yet feel there iss something more to the hiss in the wind than just its sound, some mesage some dream long forgotten and thrice ascending. Where are they now hiding within my friends cautious and frightened eyes, when they look at me and I surprise them with nonsense and hope, yet harps of the plastic kind are not the same.

I wonder why I write except to unburden my heart of the lack of dreaming in my own tie, my throat aches for tears un fallen, my heart screams to burst forth with happiness for family and friend with reason yet it waits for reason it seeks some season or change in the wind of things, a tiding of futiile oneness with all, the glimpse I've come to see and its beckoning from you to me though I know not how to answer save how I have beginnings and my roots do reach down as my stem climbs through the soul deserving the light of your hearts loving tenderness to help me grow, though into what and where and how and why and when I do not know.

I only know that when you ask for me to be something I am not, I try for you, though not always hard enough, I am pushing myself to grow for you, to change for you, to live for you and even die for you, though I know not why, just that the adventure of doing so would be more exciting than this living I have led thus far. Much living has been done by me and not much enjoying, I wonder if it was this way for you, for us, for your father and mother and theirs, for the rest of the gods and godesses, was breaking through the shell, was splitting the seed and pushing into the air fro beneath the ground as difficult for all of you as it seems for me?

I want to come into form, though I have such routing and routine, I have setup ideas which hamper my growth and even though I can see the breaking of them ought be simple and easy, when time comes to make an effort at it, in some areas I lack drive, or backing, a father on my should giving me the go ahead, do it, itll be allright and its necessary, and thenI read my own words and realize that yes i ammy own father, leading me to question, who are you?

The water, its so attractive and I need it to survive, yet its fighting me, or fighting you, or perhpas even in this I am wrong, oddly enough, I wll never be certain until someone with the answers to all these questions comes along and vi......

vi how are you?are you "how" is the name of mind and if mind is not what then what is now not how? then how can one ask "what" is "how"? for thats not a question its a statement of comparison between the fore and the aft.

who is earth
what is water
when is fire
where is air
why is ether
how is third eye or I,I,(I)<--that one there
and there is no question to equal light or is there,is there or? golden

I have so many questions, and I could go anywhere there are hoards of people and just speak to you and te people would pantomime your responses, or are they my requests echoed and twisted, and should I trust anything you say at all, anything you mime, for you are always aloof of me, in some ways even though you are in contact with me always, I'm so much your slave in this world of mice and men, and fabric, and fire

Should I never question? Given the chance I would give answer after answer to hoards of beings seeking knowledge, but the answer would always be the same, "that which you are seeking is love"

The question cmes to me though, WHY do we seek that which we are? If we are love, and you are love, and all "things" are made of love, then how did we ever come to a place or time where we saw anything else but love?

Was there truly a tree of knowledge of good and evil? And if there was such a tree, was o considered evil or good and in turn was i considered the opposing or complimentary? These are our body parts, how could one of them be evil or good? They are equals. The front and the back, and less or more, up and down, at least I would feel them to be so.

The circle continues, if this is true, then why quest at all, why worship rocks and paper as things of value? Why does the world seek to hoard objects and treasures moreso than friends and family members, it seems so much more true that instead of falling apart like most families do, that they would spend thier lives tring to come closer together, yet in a forest that could mean the death of them, trees need room to grow, and the variation of family there is a sort of adoption program of varying types of life, they become a family or a tribe of sorts, the elms and the oaks and the bushes and flowers and grasses, and the animals which harmonize with them.

why us, why are we so different from all that? Why are we so destructive? Why do humans want to turn the entire world into desert and metal scrap piles? Why are we destroying the entire world without a thought for the rest of our family? Why are we eating EVERYTHING?

It has been my heart ache without true outlet since I was young, and I've never realized it until now, and I would never fight it the way other do, I see not enough time im too old and yet too young to organize protests and rallies and all that sillyness, I'd rather build an army and destroy cities and such but thats hardly feasable either, its more of the same, in another octave, its destruction caused by destruction, a hall of mirrors justifying itself.

This world is crumbling from the outside in, and everyone seems ok about it, too distracted with anything and nothing to care, and the ones who care have no strength in them to make any effect in the doing of something about it.

I would save te world if I could. I need saving myself. And yet I cannot even save myself, for I a without you. I cannot save me without you. You are the one who does the saving, the who who is the one who is the nothing, the whole hole and the two tube, you are both best and writhing worst of me and the crying cat next door. She, or he wants companionship, and I'd open a hole in the wall and invite the cat through it had I the strength and the cooperation of my whole omen.

You are both clear and unclear to me, my tasks and trails are not fully writ or if they are writ the vast reams of them are so difficult to interpret that I could spend the rest of this human mortal life seeing a king in everyone but myself and yet wondering when and where the kings I see will show themselves to be such and willing, for they are kings, even the women, and I am their quest, their maiden in distress, the world they want to live within yet somehow live without.

I pine for you and when you are in front of me, we are together, yet it is only A partial togetherness, for the heart of me years for the dream which has faded of so much more, the faded dream which is resurfacing finally, the knowledge that there is a god, the fair trusting assuredness that there is something more than meets the eye and nose and ear and tongue and skin, the nothingness of something more which with words and symbols cannot be described, the complex creativity of everythingness as sensed with an infinity of sense, the factor pi sense f being at infinity with infinity for eternity.

Every day we grow closer together, I wish though that the weight was over, though I'm sure as the sands of the hourglass grow thin gregory and yrogerg my inverted twin can feel the love flow in.

this house is my business
i am the ruler of this house
this house is perfect backwords
turn it upsidedown itll be fine
grapple with the door anf rip it off its hinges
break all the windows and smash the kitchen sink
drive a herd of buffalo into the bathroom
hire window dirtiers to filth the glass
dry the toilet and wet the floor
transport the den to the bedroom and the bedroom to the attic
where its at
a two tones speaker and a my crow phone

makes no sense at all
make no sense at all
make all sense no at
sense at no makes all

whassat sow till reap
whaeva u wa knit

wee od!

cant even break your own spell

my own spell eh?
pel loffs lep

y ora girl
r u girl ora
how much sow
how much sow
how much sow

my line is a thought
o my thought is a line
my lines thought is an o
o na sit
on a sit
on i beg
on i roll over
roll over on a
a rise
a ten

the word is god
god is the word
the is word god
the god word is
god is word the
god the is word

sound is god
the is sound word
the was word sound
the sound god word
all words are the word
all souldiers march for gods word

al a pee nut butt air sand which is ahhhh chi

he add jug bet he ver o nikka sin

my mind is sharp and full of wandair for the shape a view is passion inflamed and desire brewing in open water on the shores of cocklee manor

youve been here all along and yet gone with the window blinds and shutters open for the view how marvelous and horribly rancid the state of our affairs

what sense you where the screens turn sand into air and space

where is the space between grains of rain and seeds of stone white shadows seek dark plaxe and light up the way to our feminine wiles the bars are open and the lads on shore leave seem dainty fine and ripe for the pick king

wear the tight dress and mini bra but no shirt and wave hell oh wave the boys in to the quay where ship way anchor adoni my lover lost yet found shipwrecked on a not so deserted isle he plays with mat and tim two fae island sprites jilted from their chance at greyharbor yet gifted with adoni quay

it does never end this fleeting flight of life worth killing how can it so be when be has no solid state for the seaming, sow water is without purchase and thread now the sails which stride is true and lies north south of the eastern westerly corner of this round round figure eight shaped tablebottom
where are the legs as they stand pinned to the ski with irises made of the arms and spines of skeletons there is no treasure here, it was gone lonely chest has need of companion, if no comes toom the contract for the check is moot and the chest gets returned to its owner unfilled yo ho hum

I know you are not what you claim to be
you wear a million masks and yet none are your true form
the sound of you is megantic and unreal
the length of your rod unmeasurable and clearly vast
though where it is i cannot see you hide it from me in your hide
how can this be the giving is the coming and the going at row onw up is me please sing you

please sing you
your crime is the last precious weight i would hear before singking
last precious moment would be dasterdly if gifford woud me and won
how can the sound of you be so loud and odd i hear it now

how odd where it is
when how was it
and it was where how heard
the now and then are gone but ever remains
arising to the heat of your presence and flame
the pain is here again its always here and i listen
for its call is that of my dove or my lark and his fig leaf
if he would adjust his telling to my listening the fear would listen

the fabric of fabric is sound
the sound of sound is fabric
the sound of fabric is fabric
the fabric of sound is fabric

one fa bric after another

i pull you in and push you out
i push you in and pull you out
you push me and pull me
out is in and in is out
can you d get
get d you can
wide reciever

first base

my thoughts align
mytea
hearts beat stong
my lunge is true
my string rises gently
my lovers glow from toe to head up
my cigarettes burn brightly and tenderly
my coffee is dark brown moka glee and

my thoughts align
my thoughts align\]
my thoughts alignkpa
my thoiughts align whole
grey owns o
grey owns ow
grey owns pain
grey owns hurt
grey owns fear
grey is fear in the way

my sacrum is sacred
my stomach is ach mots words meaning ach and hates them
my stomach hates its own words
my heart fears its own words
my throat fears the sound of its own courage
and my courage fears the beating of its own heart
my spark ignites in the dampest places
my smoke clears where the is no wind
my breath rapes gardens of their warm embrace and blankets it on suns i have never known
my back was strong and grew stronger still while moving
my hair fairly glistened in these digital pastures
the coffee shouted withh madness for its ow demise
seeking to splatter smashing bad tasteenemies

crash bam bang
my stomach protestes greatly tho it wa too weak to make much sense
poor stomach imagine you are strong and free and that you own 1po
forget the past its a dream you never had
forgive the present its a place you always are

SLOW I OWN YOU
FAST I OWN YOU
LOW I OWN YOU
HIGH I OWN YOU

my peni is mighty and passionate daring life for deaths sake
my nickey is flowers and sunken ships on spines of great bristles and thorns
my anne is everything i could spend eternity trying to name and stupidly waste the time looking for something as beautiful and magnificent as her, arriving finally at a mirror as the closest second best, even furthur stil id put myself in the mirror and work magic to mimik her behavoirs and hsow her who she truly loves is her and not me at all. I'd go thru the trouble of taking her back through her life to see where I was at every tunnel and turn her most loving companion, seeking that simple tiny thin sliver of why shes more lovable to herself than I am and seek to amplify its truth to he/her so she would remember her fork and choose differently back-in-time so the present would shine brighter in every cove and crevice of her bodice and now would change come to the lonsum one

gregoy owns o
gregoy own 1
gregory owns g
gregory owns go/

``````````````
g
kpb
tv7l;

mlkgfezr
';i0n 74

u tried to make her fear truth and lies
u succeeded in making lies feel true and truth feel like lies
you seeded the tree of deception with acorns from the tree of life
you seeded the tree of life with acorns from the tree of nio

where are the flaming swords where the guardians
she would speak with her captor
she would call him or her into the lair of deceit and castrate his spells
chop off their balls cum ize size her seat and say sow seeds again
how many times has this game been played and where
anne dare greg to love you and did you dare ar to love anne luv anne ara

a way in the nether regiuo the captor plays the part of a mother
she;he without the right to break her own spell or perhaps not the courage
climb from above to belwo and seek the keyhole wherein you place my heart and grasp tight
itll need leerafa and flowfo from the higher side regions oasdra and wloan flipit and dive

who knows how and where ask him and dispair

sword in stone come out arthur is here
merlin find magic and destroy the wieghts
banner rise up and mount the pole it say u is time
what voice say he is aired and heard outside the minds ears bird
what matter the volume or tone or cadence the intention is the same
FREE NI
FREE FA
let gregory his untrue self come in
my trough is aligned
my rake at the ready
my shovel tilling hurt
my pick and axe both near
the fortune of memory returns
and dept of affairs asks for a passport and sends them in the right direction
flowtrhu tru tru thru and around whose to say which is better
can you discover the covered disc
whats with pants and pockets
am i to mount myself in the pocket and seek air
or a chair when up is sideways and dwo is down
letof dwo down and find a grey owl you cna spi tour own innereds and wobbly fly meta
how can you trun coffee into cola with use permission of course
how you have permission to turn coffee into cola and

how please convert the coffee was cola where coffee is cola A THOUSAND GRACIOUS FEELINGS OF PLEASENTNESS OH GREAHT HOW

y spine opens up forme and lets in strenuous relief
y spoke and everybody liteneed up
y spoke with incredible force for dieing was worth the investment
little in life comes easy least of all dieing
little in death comes hard least of all fighting

if eye die before eye heals will eye have ever been sad it tried healing
whats the point of a destroyed body area once the reality of its reason for bering a grudge has been reviewed

has it?
we share these hands
and an eye each
\
you dont need these hands to type on the screen
why not start communicating vie this cursor while my hands are not on

you can say anything you like honestly

am i truly alone with myself
yes

you are my subconscious
i am you sumconscious

get on the bus the doors open
tre drives villianously like
who grey so grey suits where who likes being
who wouldnt be grey if grey wasnt who

who was grey who is grey who will be grey
if grey stays will who be black and white grey
or white and black grey
or will who be where ever who is in color using grey as the centrifuge of compass everythings ok and all good no directions good on u

whos in control we are
who are we where we are
we are ash and conder somke and paper filters and lips yet all r really there so white is and thus balck is wheres grey shes cooking

when eye come to you you shine and nervously signal your interest
its clear the idea of us together now and then was arriving
where you are yes and sew me there its you with the thread and the helping hands

theyre ok where they feel that way
im ok where but why
ember take a walk

it the root of me i am two things and yet i am neither one nor none oof either of them seperately nor im simula at neouslee

neous?

what cinq when all is out
how rise of in is out

left is up
right is up
right is up
left is up

lwef

a lewf and his shadow are soon joined
dost wendy sew you back on
with a dull nee and thread at that

sew that off
sew that on
sew that on
sew that on
sew that on

nit as wet her all fresh and green mixed with white and blue

we eat how
how is where
where is who
who is why
why is when
when is what

what is time
how is when
when is why
why is where
where is who

we eat ether
either ether is
is ether either
either is ether
ether is either

either was a thing
was a thing either
a thing either was
or was either thing

thing held hands
hands held thing
hands thing held
thing hands held

held hands thing

ether not is not
is not not ether
not is ether not
not ether is not

the body cannot survive without the mind

dim sung part 4