One way has been transparent and obvious all my life, the basic and befuddling determination for love in a world of confusion and contortion, the other is a new and almost insane adversely intimidarting reality which underlies the whole face.... funny my body is all wonky while trying this, shaky, nervoous I guesss, as it doesen't want me to describe the truth as it is to the world, as if that would somehow ruin the game or the ungame that this world is stereotying.
However, I feel like it would help me in my path towards whatever I am being led to help others who are obviously... well it doesne't eh? so what, they're my fingers and its my life to spill or fuck down.
Who are you, who am I? We are not the same nor are we different, we are both one and noe and neither not one nor the other, we are the way and the travellers on the path, yet the path and the way are somehow nothing at all permanent nor temporary, its as if the route iz a shapable thing and though its based on a fundamental structure, a way things were created or a way they came otgether origianlly, it is this way now as a mean to teach a lesson, the world is a school of sorts, a classroom for Gods children, or Gods child, but, the child is apparently not just a child, he/she is a brother/sister, son/daughter, husband/wife, mother/father in training a sort of lover/without aplayliken antipose other than one that is illusive and shifty, no... yes.. both.
Its a god game, at the moment its unbalanced, its heavy on gods side and light on ours. Gods got the cards and the dice and the whole game already accessable to his mind and heart, he's seen the upcoming moments and the previous ones and all of that factors into his attitude about the now. He knows where we, or he.. has been and where hes going.... yet because he's such a type of being, he, even with teh ability to shove us all in the direction and shift the reality towards it, stripping the rough edges off, he chooses not to, its the free will syndrome, the complex role of letting us choose, though even that is not a real truth since the design of reality is shaped so that there is really no choice at all, it's a spiral of "must go there" and the only thing we can really choose, it to stay where we are, or go, AND on route, we choose the how we are on route, because the going is not the arriving, there is no arrival, there is only the route, ever onward, ever fore, ever lighter and even odd.
Would we all like the knowing of why this world IS? Why thing rise up up or make us fall, why thing had color and shape and position and all? :D It'd be fun you now know, and like jesus tried, tries to explain it so long ago, now, I do.
Though why, I feel it's silly, because I know you are none of you truly unknowing in this all, its a game of knock knock, one which you already know the joke, the response and why the chicken crossed the road, yet because you've got nothing better to do in the infinity of eternity and because you love loving for no other rason than loving, you'll listen to the joke as if it's new, new, new, new, new, new, woo hooo yeah whatever, laugh now, unless the jokes not youre desire, unless you want more, and wont settle for the four, the fore, the cat.
Wanna know how to tell the future for yourself, the see the recent past, the now and the future, whats the real point to it? to wit?
Did you know that every film every book and every thing we are is the same as nothing, and once you know that theres a REAL PURPOSE for them all, other than JUST entertainment, that theyre teaching us WHAT WE ARE FOR and WHAT WE ARE TO DO, I would sit and continue to live as an uneducated god-child, educating... or rise up and.... hmmm I guess I till don't understand.
Its what I'm doing. So I get this whole worl picture, I see why I'm here now, and its not great that I madesoem mistake, its not fine that when presented with the other choices in the past I chose the ones which were considered crummy crime and now its punishement time.
Gad is not JUST good, hes also BAD, hes both BLACK and WHITE and DAY and NIGHT and its because he's conquered the DARK side of himself, CON QUERRED with DARK and within him they fit, not fight, its within us they fight, yet the fight is only to us a FIGHT, to him the fight is a fit, a game, a toy to treasure and eternally play with.
Its funny tho, its like the only way to amaze god is to combat. To counter the flow of this worlds go, to sit i the firmamment and go both up and down and around.. hmm I'm lost again lol, my thoughts scatter whenever I start to define the art, I guess its soooooo derfined arrive and depart.
Its all inverted, backwards and the up is down and the down up.
Chi, chakras, numbers, letters, positional relation, I am the inside and you the out, and I can tel what is determined and the potential next for my feminine and masculine side just by looking at the things my knees or elbows point at.
Chi, chakras, the keys to learning reality. though the bod is sooooo complex, there are sooo many shapes and sooo many forms and soo many shades of color.
Believe. What to believe in?
FOUR<- "God" SOW LOVE(D+4) the world that he gave his own Lee B-GOT-TEN sun
Whats that mean?
Means he FASTED. He let the stomach chakra, the B/2 get shut off, so that it would not be the controlling chakra of his actions, so that his knees and body would no longer constantly position and direct him towards b=10 related future potentials. Which by the way, is pretty much everything unrelated to love.
Thus he gave himself a D-got-ten which is 4=10 the heart+ten(penis and bum) :D
Soo even though I know this now and have known it for some time, I've been communicating with people around me about it, though for some rason even though they seem to agree with teh truth of it, they all seem stuck in some control.
And every time I've tried to go the distance, to stop eating long enough to get my stomach chakra off the job of sickness (food) To stop eating ... I drop out of class and look around and figure, whatever, noone else cares enough to do it, why should I.
Its not logical I know, I am being asked to be the first to jump off the bridge so that others may follow, I'm being asked to become JESUS VERSION 2. Surrounded on all sides by entities who can read my insides from outside and talk about it to eachother as a mean of talking TO ME,yet when asked to do so WITH me, to drop the need to be on some devide, som device, I see myself here also, doing the same.
Talking with GOD with my fingers and a computer. While god talked to me from another room on a cellular phone. When we come face to face, god look at me blankly, and I look at god blankly and we part ways. Like we don't know each other.
And I guess we're both fine with that, even though God gets mad when I type it. He still walk away and picks up a cell phoen to talk to me about it. Dishonest. Asking me to be honest. Hone st. hone the way. shape the blade edge. cut thru the necessity to bitch at me for trying that way whichiever it is.
Must be nice to read my thoughts and not have me be able to read yours eh. How can I EVER lead if I am following. How can anything I do be unique, it was all forced into me and that which comes out is a product of what you forced in. I am your toy and you wont even shut off the control. Expect me to love the on button and the batteries and the remote control, and then tell me if I don't shift the insides around to your satisfaction you wont let me free.
Send the cops us to me as a test, to force a shift in me in the face of q consequence, do it, or we'll punish you, though its truly you punishing yourself, we're just the vessel, the judges, the you'd better do it, or I'll spank you, and I'm somehow equal???
Fair, unfair, right, wrong whatever. My prison guard. I accept prison. only because I have no choise save that of anal sex with my guards. HAHAHAH fucking rediculous. seriously, the game, or the lesson or the education.... I don't have what you have!!!! You've got this ability to be anyone and everyone and emote and love in every different shape and I'm just the sum of my experiences and the memory in me dissipates almost instantly, I'm a fluke and flailing whenever I get close to you. GRR.