Communication..
I learned things in the last few months that I didn't always keep in the forefront of consciousness while communicating..
1. Replace "must" & "should" and "have to" and such terms with "ought"
ought 1 (ôt)
aux.v.
a. Used to indicate obligation or duty: You ought to work harder than that.
b. Used to indicate advisability or prudence: You ought to wear a raincoat.
c. Used to indicate desirability: You ought to have been there; it was great fun.
d. Used to indicate probability or likelihood: She ought to finish by next week.
2. Use "and?" whenever you want someone to continue talking or clarify with more details or when they appear to be laying a blame or a fault on you.. since the blame and fault solve nothing, the "and?" requests that the person recognizes that they are blaming etc. and that they ought to figure out what they hope to achieve from the blaming.. connect the blame to a solution..
3. Use "so.." when you feel that someone ought to have the answer or figure it out, so.. they hopefully figure and realize that the answer is so.. simple.
4. Stop using "can't" or "cannot". They're double negatives. We CAN do anything. Instead state the truth.
5. Stop placing negative words after "I am" or "you are" or "everyone is" and stop placing positive words after "nobody is" or "no one is", these all create reality into something negative.
6. Replace "need" and "want" with "crave" and "desire" or "require" as the terms need and want denote that the person is somehow less than whole without the object of the desire.
7. The most commonly used one.. "have" and "had" and "has" see the problems with these here:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/have - all ought to be replaced with words like "recieve" & "accept" & "use/utilize" & "allow" & "hold" & "maintain" & "sustain" & "keep" & "star/starred" & "carry".. The word "have" is sooo misunderstood.. Just look at the length of the page descriptions and synonyms..
8. The same goes for the word "make".. we do not "make things", instead we "cause" and "affect" and "alter/change/modify" etc. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/make
In addition, no one "makes" someone else into an emotion. People are people, emotions are emotions. I do not equal and emotion. You cannot "make me = mad"
1. Replace "must" & "should" and "have to" and such terms with "ought"
ought 1 (ôt)
aux.v.
a. Used to indicate obligation or duty: You ought to work harder than that.
b. Used to indicate advisability or prudence: You ought to wear a raincoat.
c. Used to indicate desirability: You ought to have been there; it was great fun.
d. Used to indicate probability or likelihood: She ought to finish by next week.
2. Use "and?" whenever you want someone to continue talking or clarify with more details or when they appear to be laying a blame or a fault on you.. since the blame and fault solve nothing, the "and?" requests that the person recognizes that they are blaming etc. and that they ought to figure out what they hope to achieve from the blaming.. connect the blame to a solution..
3. Use "so.." when you feel that someone ought to have the answer or figure it out, so.. they hopefully figure and realize that the answer is so.. simple.
4. Stop using "can't" or "cannot". They're double negatives. We CAN do anything. Instead state the truth.
5. Stop placing negative words after "I am" or "you are" or "everyone is" and stop placing positive words after "nobody is" or "no one is", these all create reality into something negative.
6. Replace "need" and "want" with "crave" and "desire" or "require" as the terms need and want denote that the person is somehow less than whole without the object of the desire.
7. The most commonly used one.. "have" and "had" and "has" see the problems with these here:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/have - all ought to be replaced with words like "recieve" & "accept" & "use/utilize" & "allow" & "hold" & "maintain" & "sustain" & "keep" & "star/starred" & "carry".. The word "have" is sooo misunderstood.. Just look at the length of the page descriptions and synonyms..
8. The same goes for the word "make".. we do not "make things", instead we "cause" and "affect" and "alter/change/modify" etc. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/make
In addition, no one "makes" someone else into an emotion. People are people, emotions are emotions. I do not equal and emotion. You cannot "make me = mad"