April 26th, 2006

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

the path?

Words you speak are important to me. I know you to be wise. I know I must accept the advice and grow and go forward and continue on.. the fear.. the confusion, the clarity.. moving on..

what is the path of which you speak? Where did you read of it?
the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

Skipping Emotional Record

This is where it ends up in person.. stuck repeating itself, saying things that have already been said and wondering why and where it's all going. I wonder where I am going.. I wonder.. The last 6 months have turned me upsidedown and you wonder why I am acting this way now, I am full of fears.

Remember asking me what drives me? Remember telling me I know how to touch you? Remember looking deeply into my eyes seeking? You scare me woman. I have always been more afraid of you than anything and I have never known why.. what causes the fear I have when I am near you? Why do love and fear go hand in hand? Fear of failure? Failing at what? Failing at being the best me I can be? Failing at being the character?

I wanted to show you how much of a character you are... so spirited and sprite like.. something out of fairy tale... never met anyone like you.. never will again, there is only you. Me in so many ways, opposite in so many too..

I listened to so many love songs, seen so many movies about relationships and love and been programmed to believe one should do anything to save what one would consider to be the right connection.. I want so much to be with you, to be for you.. to be in you and all.. I was taught this.. I accepted it, it's all I have ever known that at some point I would meet you.

I know that when I am near to you, I feel everything butterflies and flowers and cannot think of anything but you.. even when I am apart from you.. you are in every thought. I want to be your best friend again.. I still want to travel with you, as we spoke of.. without being tied. Are you interested?

I love you, I miss you, I want you.. when you wrote this.. what did it mean? It means a lot to me.

It would help me to know what you love about me..