July 1st, 2006

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

Can I get out please?

Everything is uneasy, timing has changed, syncronicity is disturbed as chos ensues change throughout the solar system. The spirit me feels it and emotionally I unstablize. This shell I inhabit, this vessel is confining me to a timespace existence centered around tabling actions and dreams towards some potential possibility of positiveness forward know. Here now though there is only vessel centered societally programmed paradigms of jealousy and grief, rage and emptyness that comes and goes. I am all in all, why do I not feel like you do? Where is the joy I channelled before, why all the uncertainty and inability to be excited on events and during conversation.

Out of these hands is the path, none are exempt nor exemplified as specialness inexists, for all is equal, but balanced cannot be just immobility in a world of mobility, what next? Another party? Another gathering of pigeons with parrots? More food? Another drink? Rest and relax? More education? Another heighty experience of emotional sensation or sensational emotion? Wheres it going? What matters matter? Is anything real at all or is this just a replaying dream sequence for viewing to elicit memories of these awarenesses in an insecure spirit trapped between reality portals on another plane of existence?

I'm sinking into the sand, a million grains of me touching self and dragging me down into sleep, dreaming sleep, dreaming of us and better us, together, holding hands, walking in the moonlight, playing with animals in the forest and forgetting the societal pressures and schedulings, no more of this emotional turmoil stemming from fears within me, another fairy tale, why can't it just be? Why can't I? Why must there always be a measuring, constant evaluation and guaging, cause, effect, result, review, give and don't give depending, inequality everywhere in the aura of misunderstood value conceptions.