January 28th, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

What hurts the most..

was being so close
and watchin me walk away..

you can never lose me anywhere i go there you are.
the keys i type on are you..
the food i eat is you..
the life I am is you..

yet you mock me.
you want me to love you..
you want me to waive the rules..
you made them up first..
enforced them on me..

no rules?
or some but not all..

why ask good or bad?
why ask ca va?
you're in my head..
you know the answers I'll give.
you know how I make the words from yesterday appear blue.

Yes you invited me out, and succeeded and yes I wanted it.

I need you for what? To maim my self into yours..
Hold my head up high, but only high enough to see the human you.
The rest are untrue?
Objects, subjects? Toys and training wheels..
Love without desire, let go of wanting..
you are me wanting then you let go too.

How do you want me after being this to invert my gender..
Let go of being a "male" and become some neuter..
In the midst of the art of mixing, enforcing me..

Go this way you say.. jump, fear not, just love..

but attraction is you pulling me, and I'm not hard for you..
you are hard for me. You need this from me. What do I ned?
I flanders field you until I find the traction to want you..
in the way a lover would, not a brother.

You're a man to me, an old man, a young man, and all those..
yet am I to be you're lover? Yes love you like a father,
but fathers who molest? You molest my mental rigidity

Gay? is happy, and no wonder I feign..
How can I buy this bull?

Love thy neighbor.. do not be bored...
A hahah! well red is not directed at bo, unless I AM!
And yes, the cynicism I get is given first to me..
How can I have this which I have not been given..

Show me the way to go, or do I show myself?
Let myself pick a direction and drop these clothes,
you want this body to give up it's soul?

Lucy Luck Coolio cool..
Why and why and why these polar conflicts in me..
I fight for the legalities, the TAO of wheels.
Rule free, free rule, logic led me to know..

Logic led me to let love flow.. and love is tears
and love is you pulling me apart and changing my world..
Or is it me.. pulling me apart.. and you are me...

Have I ever been playin a1?
Made myself up and decided not to include me in my own gaymes
and all of this existence has only begun recently, his story
a lie, a line a letter writ to show me the whole of negation
enforcing a hunger to be perfect and then splitting hairs..

Phase you? Phase me? I don't.
Show me the attractive me. Show me the attractive you.
I see the woman whose shapes draw my eyes.. curves, not souls.
I see spirit which brings me near.. Anne. Glitter.. Aye.

Yes is a go sign, and play tough to get fine with it.
Tricks.. facades, fake for these faces I see are unreal,
pictures, paintings, sketches of potentiality..
Flitting, forms housing emo flames seeking release
yes, flayed fragments of the me I never knew I had.. and yet
never have I not known.. why 33 years.. why? The symbols?

Did this giant system of my have to align like the stars?
Oooohhh yeah yeah.. but you knew I would last night..
You knew each step and every motion.. You knew..
I didn't know.. I only know now, afterwEARing, listen!

chronos, this oracle rep flays m skin
why why why.. let me think about it..

Feel into me and reposition the blocks, fuck, destroy them all..

Let go. Let go. Let the words flow without negate know.