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Dec. 24th, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

(no subject)

sow she gets b-liines psy did bi-ass-iv-ick do-in wand went em isles snne a our

y

p pul luv
p ul luv
p luv ul
p luv pull
p pull ash luv
pul p ash luv
pull luv ash p
pull ash luv p
p pull gun luv
p gun luv pul
p luv pull gun
gun luv p pull
p pul al
p all pull
all pul p
pull p al

p pull work
p work pul
work p pull
work pul p
pull work p
work pul p

pul play work work play p
p work play play work pll
p hates play loves work hates work loves play pull
pul loves work loves play luvs workj ohla view

jhoo king lass ass king jhoo lass
jho king sassy ass sassy ass king jho
jha key hole ass ass so le key Jha
Jhu wanna ass ass an wanna Ju

p pull moma luv
p luv moma pul
pull moma p luv
moma luv p pul

pul luv man p
p man luv pul

push man luv pul
pul man luv push

p luv pro or pvul p vpul lvup p pul p1 vu

d and e ass and e and dss ass


toy lit is where p pull
p pull where toy is lit
lit toy where pull p is
pull toy lit where is ass

Dec. 23rd, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

umew

Title in vert teed. from some of the ways eye sees it.

rules-selur = see lure
ten-net = neet/neat
human-namuh = name you
for being-gnieb rof = Gennie be rough

neat lure see genie be rough-you-name

nnahhhh, um a source arear

One Period-do I repen O
Hu did generate a dream period Yu both love it and hate it, its your butt to keep the whole in tire nothing and call it something new!

Two Period-do I repowt? wo y powt? wipeout!
Lessons will learn you came for informing life it is an unfurled magic scroll of many colors, a free for all trist in a ferry tale

Three Period-do I re-a-peerth
The rear en om I stakes comma on ly les sons ++++
There are-nom is take son(-mistake
There are-nom is give son! Grow this, an adventure of tail-rising, air-roaring and hypothesising and spell casting. The fairy Island wise peer a man are a smooch together, they all play, none of them never work.

FORE!<---Golden Fairy! OR-FE OFER-offer fore-f f4est~ 4fest!
Morons repeatedly UN-till while learnedones repeatedly SOW! A moron will continually try to make a moron come out of you, a learned one will repeatedly try forming a moron in you. You can never get off on the next lesson.

FIVE-EVE-if = fe-iv -fairy ivy GREEN FAIRY! me spekum green!
Genie tees chi for its elf, always big in teaching elves they need yes gain. Theres yes traps where every hive renews fairy dawns sun up!

Six-Xist X is T angled in skis siks kiss
THERE IS NO BETTER A PLACE THAN HERE

rehearse reverse
here than better, look again, "will" that there a-not-her obtain simply "will" you here a be-come has there your when here then place a better, know is there x-claim-a-tie-on

Seven - neves
Gray farys rymy god oduay ayuo birecdunhihc

where be mirror where me descibe you
you can and do love everything in and on everybody even moreso rise will love rise will moreso embody every sion siot sire love

Eight-thgie th-gie
Where life makes you up for gud be up for it

Nine-enin in knee
Our questions are truth withoutstanding credit lines The answer for all questions is love truthfully and substitue love for love when ever you are seeking something its love, stop seeking love and love will find you, when love found you you remembers it was always in you and around u forget forgetting and remember remembering, then prehaps remember forgetting and forget remembering. You all need for, look for, listen for and trust for love. love looking, love listening and love trusting love. Its all you ever see and hear and trust me, trust you, love me, love you, love seeing you in me, love that I see me in you, love that you see me in me and love that I see you in you.

TENET
you will four give four gay view

Dec. 22nd, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

Emit Time, 8 mi ute till full off 5+2

well 7 min max off o knit. Jan 2 is day 11. No food, no water. Only CHI!!!!!!!

AS of 7:11am 12/23 MAN will not give in! 0bd0

ps or perhaps tomorrow... or maybe the next day or next week or sometime in a month or three or eventfully in 2012... hahah should begotten be sacrificed? or are there truly four different ways? Whatever. Whoever. Whenever. However. yever. Whichever. LALALA I'm hungry. Bleh. Noone else seems to care if the truth is clearly there or not, should I y?

A world full of fakers. Staring at simple truth and a language leading to confusion through confusion for the sake of immortality and illiteracy. Friends and family who choose to grow a girl soul in a boy body and not teach her\\/\//him well from the start.

A father anda mother, a supposed husband and some strange thing called love which asks for sacrifice or sets out an ultimatum for giving? Greg? Whose he? Love doesent care. Love insists that greg is "on his own"?

well bleh, yeah i know its like giving up a drug habit one doesent want tro let go of, he gets ruly and riled up when he wants to eat and has set in mind that he would not eat and plans to anyway. hahaha.

He figures that like before, after a binge night of mayham, getting the guy was easy enough, though rather awkward. If the method of entry is all thats supposed to change when the time comes, full belly or not, active sacrum or not, if husband wants me as mushy much as he seems to say he does, then he'll stop playing such a bitch about attitude and aural particulars and just may kit e-z for the duration.

Love wins in the back end.

My name is asshole uhunt a soul uwear yhunt

everyone is seeking their name, wearing the name of one whom they request their name from.

you wear my name, tho, it was this way, as i grow, as he grows, as she grows within him, as he grows within her within him, as the words become clearer and the language comes forever younger and more startlingly beautiful in its magical complexity and simplicity, as the wonders flow from the heart of each heart and the aum of each home, the truth of the way and the leash on his soul is given back so he wills bright magic and pretends that fairy tales are true be cause them to be true.

That which is true is true and that which is untrue is also true. Fairy tales are real, magic is real, unicorns exist, fairies exist, dragons exist, santa clause exists, peter pan exists, all the dreams and all the marvels of eternity are ours to spin and weave and knit and sow, and thus and so, believe and be amazed, become a child again.

You must believe. Everytime you believe you be eve lie and a lie is spun magic, helping magic to come to exist. for magic is form a gee i see, and tho i see is icy we sign and say why and the answer is why for the question IS the answer.

why do we see where and how we see, we see where and how we see why.

why, THATS why.

it is the cause of us and we are the request for it. west reeks, its the backside, the loop, the noose, the lasso, the lo ass, the ole ass, the whole hole, the twisted loop of infinity and the beginning of the end of the middle which neither ever starter nor ever finished tho it also did start and end where it was on the verge of decising its trajectory thru itself.

where does a hole begin and end? at its edges, in its middle what is a hole, it is the lack of a thing, the undy scribe a bull, the emptyness that awaits form, the form of emptyness is for in, and of these and those there is own lee sir ten tee.

ether is the er, it is er packaging the~

it is also et her or weather, eat here.

the world is our imaginatrio and we have been eating it,taking our minds, the form of earth and sending it into our water, the lake of fire or the lay cough ire tho whats all this, imagine, its nothing more than feelings, love and the heaviness of light and shadown the sound of flavor and the touch of smell, the scent of magic and we've somehow dumbed ourselves in an ideal ast airing or lets make everything nonslid again lets let go of solidity and free our minds! free our hearts, free our souls...

have i sold my soul
? i want it back.

my name is asshole
mine aim is a soul.

Dec. 21st, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

the way yah?

if you do not, you under stand
if you do, you then stand up

reitier

if few dune hot you one durst anned

and is a and a nd>--- seat he end
dna is dinna or d in an a

d is un up and a is un down
see----
endow is end ow(.) period or do i rep

i does understand thus i's unders tanned

i is not eye tho i has tried holding e as ye thus easy e prefer ease y.

what is twos place (who, what etc.)
who as ones place is inverted, true is uh
whes threes place not whens.

let splay yal ps tel

uh (oooohhh) who won, one who won ooohhhh (who is wear or ou, or u, o ru)
ta (ta ta babe e) what toot rain whater rate awe can u?
nu (new one a un) u win n u win - ni wu n ni wu
rau (ray oooohhh) where aye you are - u aray u
ry (ry why ry - ry y wire) why ry wire - airy yr ry why
wua (wo0o aaahhhh how) who woo a - wo0o aaahhhh how

seven a fairy with dust four all

do ta who task where task fat kneets thrufar thurau fa prury wuait comma uht an ur aura y wua uh

moo chose grassy us
the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

atayd ne upon hear voyc fnday owedu thur fafae

un four two knit lee fridays till kneeds his air-row
weld own look at me, eyed id in ri tit


My name is mine aim, my name is U, mine aim is you.
+-+=
derivation
am why nay me ice my knee aye eye am (comma)c aum ma(eye-blue) am why an aye ami issue, am in e ah I mis why owe you?

Take something small, which is big and macro midro micro midro macro it.

forget the midrocosm?

the small is in the medium is in the large is is the medium is in the small.
Or is O ris sir O zero
thes mal lis int hem edi u mis int hel ar ge i sis them edi u misin thes mals

Whn a babble on a bro ok fel on the gro und wear a dam and eve ents were sir priesd or were they?

Where is God? do gs ie rehw in ni where is go d.

d is hard made easy. sim pulled egg ram of ear rect pen is

dis puto my lodge ick i seek edged ol y mot tup sid.

xtra letrs r 4 lusayrz

reel eye in to and for are the same
knot and naught and not
no and know and neau
so and sew and sow
seize seees and seas csuns change

forof alla u dood yaway ada oarao

spee kin tungs sgnut nik eeps naagsusagan

Dec. 20th, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

God

FOUR
GOD
SO
LOVED
THE
WORLD
HE

GAYve
HISSSS
OWN LEE (EEL LIN WOEEL)
B got ten (pass the ten shin)
SUN
THAT
WHOSOEVER

BE
LEAVE
ETH
ON
HIM
SHOULD
NOT
PERISH

Childs play. Equated truths.

Continue feeding in pee flows pe-ris-h. pee rise h(age-ash shagea shaggy.
scoo b.

who scoos who?
the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

AAAAAA HHHHHH AAAA YYY AA YYYY AAAA

First unties third from being on line with a second friend more anned more aye!

up was and is evre good

er=do ara od=re
ev=go oro ve=og

Leven ah la post

1 deau do ooh'd ode
2 ray rah har yayer
3 me my i'm e'm
4 fa fae aef af
5 sew sow oose ouse
6 la lay ail al
7 te teh eight eat
witch brings us back two do.
wizard gives you front four go.

-one word at a time sweet g's us

lets try a naym ora ogre omen

hehehe hahahaha hohohoh highhighhighhigh

Who is double o seven?
who called four-two from his seven
b on d? a bond? truer d no b? de knob? na no oh twas.
o? an is? o sina? o sa in? sign ao? sin a o? si na o.
why na o? whine aye o. y nez o. o zen y. yo zen! z?

whazza z?
whats a z?
zed zee eez dez....
zed zee ease these
zay zoom zis zonky
say zoom this donky
eyz uz az dz iz hz wyz
eyes use ayes these eyes a jiss wise.

OK, leaving aside the whole thinking part for a moments notice.. Words are both individually and based in sound, used for scripting chi flow, or in our cased balancing it and giving it pushes ad pulls but by showing each of us that way we are coding our flows and with tease and taunt for the tayloring of chi roping and leading. Everyone trys to chi-lead first becase b is the cause of b in g. bing bing! its we who start what when we wear where out words so develop it.

Mathematically, girls have some strange ability to talk chi im a penis. Some bi-sexual men have the a-way covered gently. Somewho along the where and how men lost the "im a penis" chi and borrowed time on the im a vagina

vagina backwads, a knee gave. one side of the ying yang was given away. Lent.

aGrag or y won aye graduashin

whos gray? a g-ray? sow color splay? gray is white? white tie. ass.

jesus rose for anne ass son a roof soar ca seij

xend of matriz now on reloaded. :D

eel an elle in all wet dry
isle a land found eyed dry wet
aim day or night for fire flame
fair seas say win us all kare


t-sing tawn ting knitting n what? genus tea sun gen.

dooh what? when, why? where? heal. heel? he-le. yeh so.

yeh reap, pa er? pay er? er's free, eer f? feer?> nah
whys er feer? what? er fear male hole? just iunverinverout
do doh hod god odd, sounds, zounds, and everything works.
butt, sotry wii try yr ti wy. must I ty ti? wr at pre tend.

lee vim a lone never all ways our share, and always ayr kenned left gregory broken bent, no scent no free turn or pass go, bossed and beat up why why why not? when? lotsa leftovers leading from birth? releft a histry take}give god? kick me out of time. emit fior tu oem k cik

yeah sum gamer leava house anned language licks. tye pin play who am I, no spek in out mow did lay in guage, can u ofc orse toe u say my train in g tends to may be tree kuss into be ying four and four well delight in.

Dec. 7th, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

tcejbus

You dont need to correct anything, everything is exactly correct. The world doesent chang, people stay the say, everybody gets what they deserve and deserves what they get, they accept whatever energy that is i front of them as the one they were seeking and found what they sounght and accepted what they got. They were attracted and followed the attraction and upon reaching that which attracted them, unlike in the past, they now realize that they found love it just tastes different than they expected.

They expected that the bait they were lured to was going to be different tasting than it was and upon arriving to the bait or three the bait or four the bait, they realize that ohhhh so love taste like that too? yes it does. Acept two as love, accept three aas love, accpt four WAS love and it wasnt the only love. Is water not love? WRONG, water is love. Is fire not love? wrong fire IS love. Is air not love? no its AIR. Love is love is love is love,. It tastes like everything its looks like everything it feels like everything it sounds like everything.

IF YOU WANT IT it does. If you want it to be different it doesent. If you tell it to change and give it an ultimatum, it feels like its not good enough love for you. It feels that somehow you don't see it so it somehow doesent see you.

If you want it for what it is when it is upon arriving, then it also want you. but you cannot walk up to it, when it is the stationary one and tell it to be the action maker, you were the one and are the one actiing, it is the static one, and forit to come into action you have to be its sun. it has to be your sun. for three is two and two is three and three is four and so on and sow on and sow now no on. its noow, where no meets on and realizes that both are neither no nor on. theyre the n rather than the no if you don't recognize the o.

If does recognize the o, too though you regoc and eyes the n., comma n and find an o, keep the n and the o will see an n coming and become one n too, and o lets the n in and then becomes an n also, the two ns do not invert into os if one says stop being and n and be an o, then we end with no istead of nnnn doubled up. the power comes from force, love is a force of doubling up and doubling down. two o's lead us back to the whole girl running back and forth between two fruits who say bi me bi me bi me. and the girl is the n.

if you and I want to fly one of us has to be the n and the other an an also. Seems like whenever we start with an n one of us flip over to o and then the other does too, who does it first? Porbably the girl inside us taking over us both tries to get the girl inside us not to allow the n in us to stay. Its somehow simple in you, yet I'm the learning o and you with all the n's can push the n's into my o's you like me, choose to say the same thing to me apparently.

Then we come down to who runs this if? you or me?

If this if that greg is runs this if that greg is, and every other if wants this if to lead, than let this if lead and let this if lead. This ifgave directions like a leader would, and those ifs seems not to want to take directions because they would not accept the coud.

sooo much is half, sooo litle is whole, half it half it half it, thats where whole comes from. always half of half of half of ha which is the equivelant of double of double if double of double if, theres no unit doubled no on doubles no if halfed and yes and halved

the logic of illogic is capable and uncapable simultanously, the truth of love is that it evolved from and if given and if or and if else and if but and if

what all that is was will and hows mows and grows


yes there are miss takes and you make them you make a miss take you make a mr take you make came ew and do if shoo, but if don't shoo you, if invits you, yet when if arrives you must accect and welcome if or it will be you who who who shoos you while if stays and waits for another if another if another if, the if who does not shoo hisself from his if who will NOT reflect the shoo. who to walk in the if mirror? accept the shoo and bend it back upon itsslf, so that it is an oosh in rather than a shoo out.

Dec. 4th, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

How Things work and Whether to tell people or not...

Its strange and funny, daunting and rather disgusting lol I've been learning what the universe is all about and how it works in terms of humanities play and part in the structure of it all, and recently have reached a sort of impasse in the ken of it all. I come to a crossroads of sorts, and both ways are open for me to stride along and a short in.

One way has been transparent and obvious all my life, the basic and befuddling determination for love in a world of confusion and contortion, the other is a new and almost insane adversely intimidarting reality which underlies the whole face.... funny my body is all wonky while trying this, shaky, nervoous I guesss, as it doesen't want me to describe the truth as it is to the world, as if that would somehow ruin the game or the ungame that this world is stereotying.

However, I feel like it would help me in my path towards whatever I am being led to help others who are obviously... well it doesne't eh? so what, they're my fingers and its my life to spill or fuck down.

Who are you, who am I? We are not the same nor are we different, we are both one and noe and neither not one nor the other, we are the way and the travellers on the path, yet the path and the way are somehow nothing at all permanent nor temporary, its as if the route iz a shapable thing and though its based on a fundamental structure, a way things were created or a way they came otgether origianlly, it is this way now as a mean to teach a lesson, the world is a school of sorts, a classroom for Gods children, or Gods child, but, the child is apparently not just a child, he/she is a brother/sister, son/daughter, husband/wife, mother/father in training a sort of lover/without aplayliken antipose other than one that is illusive and shifty, no... yes.. both.

Its a god game, at the moment its unbalanced, its heavy on gods side and light on ours. Gods got the cards and the dice and the whole game already accessable to his mind and heart, he's seen the upcoming moments and the previous ones and all of that factors into his attitude about the now. He knows where we, or he.. has been and where hes going.... yet because he's such a type of being, he, even with teh ability to shove us all in the direction and shift the reality towards it, stripping the rough edges off, he chooses not to, its the free will syndrome, the complex role of letting us choose, though even that is not a real truth since the design of reality is shaped so that there is really no choice at all, it's a spiral of "must go there" and the only thing we can really choose, it to stay where we are, or go, AND on route, we choose the how we are on route, because the going is not the arriving, there is no arrival, there is only the route, ever onward, ever fore, ever lighter and even odd.

Would we all like the knowing of why this world IS? Why thing rise up up or make us fall, why thing had color and shape and position and all? :D It'd be fun you now know, and like jesus tried, tries to explain it so long ago, now, I do.

Though why, I feel it's silly, because I know you are none of you truly unknowing in this all, its a game of knock knock, one which you already know the joke, the response and why the chicken crossed the road, yet because you've got nothing better to do in the infinity of eternity and because you love loving for no other rason than loving, you'll listen to the joke as if it's new, new, new, new, new, new, woo hooo yeah whatever, laugh now, unless the jokes not youre desire, unless you want more, and wont settle for the four, the fore, the cat.

Wanna know how to tell the future for yourself, the see the recent past, the now and the future, whats the real point to it? to wit?

Did you know that every film every book and every thing we are is the same as nothing, and once you know that theres a REAL PURPOSE for them all, other than JUST entertainment, that theyre teaching us WHAT WE ARE FOR and WHAT WE ARE TO DO, I would sit and continue to live as an uneducated god-child, educating... or rise up and.... hmmm I guess I till don't understand.

Its what I'm doing. So I get this whole worl picture, I see why I'm here now, and its not great that I madesoem mistake, its not fine that when presented with the other choices in the past I chose the ones which were considered crummy crime and now its punishement time.

Gad is not JUST good, hes also BAD, hes both BLACK and WHITE and DAY and NIGHT and its because he's conquered the DARK side of himself, CON QUERRED with DARK and within him they fit, not fight, its within us they fight, yet the fight is only to us a FIGHT, to him the fight is a fit, a game, a toy to treasure and eternally play with.

Its funny tho, its like the only way to amaze god is to combat. To counter the flow of this worlds go, to sit i the firmamment and go both up and down and around.. hmm I'm lost again lol, my thoughts scatter whenever I start to define the art, I guess its soooooo derfined arrive and depart.

Its all inverted, backwards and the up is down and the down up.

Chi, chakras, numbers, letters, positional relation, I am the inside and you the out, and I can tel what is determined and the potential next for my feminine and masculine side just by looking at the things my knees or elbows point at.

Chi, chakras, the keys to learning reality. though the bod is sooooo complex, there are sooo many shapes and sooo many forms and soo many shades of color.

Believe. What to believe in?

FOUR<- "God" SOW LOVE(D+4) the world that he gave his own Lee B-GOT-TEN sun

Whats that mean?

Means he FASTED. He let the stomach chakra, the B/2 get shut off, so that it would not be the controlling chakra of his actions, so that his knees and body would no longer constantly position and direct him towards b=10 related future potentials. Which by the way, is pretty much everything unrelated to love.

Thus he gave himself a D-got-ten which is 4=10 the heart+ten(penis and bum) :D

Soo even though I know this now and have known it for some time, I've been communicating with people around me about it, though for some rason even though they seem to agree with teh truth of it, they all seem stuck in some control.

And every time I've tried to go the distance, to stop eating long enough to get my stomach chakra off the job of sickness (food) To stop eating ... I drop out of class and look around and figure, whatever, noone else cares enough to do it, why should I.

Its not logical I know, I am being asked to be the first to jump off the bridge so that others may follow, I'm being asked to become JESUS VERSION 2. Surrounded on all sides by entities who can read my insides from outside and talk about it to eachother as a mean of talking TO ME,yet when asked to do so WITH me, to drop the need to be on some devide, som device, I see myself here also, doing the same.

Talking with GOD with my fingers and a computer. While god talked to me from another room on a cellular phone. When we come face to face, god look at me blankly, and I look at god blankly and we part ways. Like we don't know each other.

And I guess we're both fine with that, even though God gets mad when I type it. He still walk away and picks up a cell phoen to talk to me about it. Dishonest. Asking me to be honest. Hone st. hone the way. shape the blade edge. cut thru the necessity to bitch at me for trying that way whichiever it is.

Must be nice to read my thoughts and not have me be able to read yours eh. How can I EVER lead if I am following. How can anything I do be unique, it was all forced into me and that which comes out is a product of what you forced in. I am your toy and you wont even shut off the control. Expect me to love the on button and the batteries and the remote control, and then tell me if I don't shift the insides around to your satisfaction you wont let me free.

Send the cops us to me as a test, to force a shift in me in the face of q consequence, do it, or we'll punish you, though its truly you punishing yourself, we're just the vessel, the judges, the you'd better do it, or I'll spank you, and I'm somehow equal???

Fair, unfair, right, wrong whatever. My prison guard. I accept prison. only because I have no choise save that of anal sex with my guards. HAHAHAH fucking rediculous. seriously, the game, or the lesson or the education.... I don't have what you have!!!! You've got this ability to be anyone and everyone and emote and love in every different shape and I'm just the sum of my experiences and the memory in me dissipates almost instantly, I'm a fluke and flailing whenever I get close to you. GRR.

Dec. 1st, 2008

the-gi het-gi gi-het(heat) get-hi hit-eg

In case it tries to get lost...

Here's a recent convo, healing old woo unds I think.

Sometimes i wonder what ever happened to you. We use to be pretty tight growing up. And even though we would fight a lot, we understood each other. It seems to me, i don't know who you are anymore. I just had a look at your wall, and your pictures, and i'm sad. It's obvious to everyone that drugs have had a major impact on you.
Greg i hope your happy with your life and what you do for a living.
I miss you man and i love ya. But, like everyone i love, ill be the first to challenge them to see if there living a life to fullest.
Zac


Gregory Terrance Crockatt
November 30 at 4:17pm
look here, view poems and photos AND STUFF
http://www.rave.ca/member/faster/


Zachari Crockatt
November 30 at 10:31pm
Listen bud, it's nice to talk to a person once in a while, rather then read a bunch of poems and stuff. I like to live a life of interaction, love and feelings. Things that are direct, not indirect. This is a fact Greg. Listen closely, you can't even have a conversation with me through email, phone, or whatever. You don't try, and you never did since the day you left Lawrencetown.
Ya know something man? It would be nice to have my brother back. The one that i knew without the drugs, from back in the day. And if it can't happen, it's to bad. Cause you have something special to offer this world, other then trying to speak to people through some indirect passage or something.
Anyway, good luck with everything
Love ya
Zac




Gregory Terrance Crockatt
Today at 5:03am
This text you use to speak at me is indirectly direct. You hide behind a mask of judgement , just as I do, you view the world from some biased perspective, just as I do. I am who I am and I will be who I will be, I speak for me and you speak for you, together we can speak for we, but if you can't accept me and my ways for what they are, then you'r trying to rule me, and don't really appreciate me as anything more than a toy to play with and discard when you're dissatisfied.

I do try. I do try a lot. I see you even though you are afraid to show your true self to me, just as much as I'm afraid to become some sort of actor just to please you. I am not your toy, I am not your slave and I am not your possession, if you want to push someone around and not accept them, go back to your job, pick up a gun and go bully people like you've been trained to. You're very good at it, you're a pro.

Yes it would be nice to have a REAL brother, one who accept and fosters positive reinforcement in EVERY aspect of my life, one who takes interest in the littlest things, both positive and negative, both attractive and repulsive, yet, it seems, I am to be judged and judged lacking, faulty, misguided and raped by my own experiences.

I used to love you at one time, and I'm not really sure when it was exactly that you and I lost that love, or even over what it was lost, the story is not straight and the lesson hasn't been learnt yet, but mark my work, its the stuff I write and the things I dream about, not just these arguements we seem to have whenever you try to invite me into your life and then back out with a snarl.

I'm a wolf. I'm a flow. I speed up and slow down, I splash and I breakwater and I am not happy with everything and I am also perfectly satisfied with all things. It's nothing you did and it's nothing I do, though the thoughts we share they always upset you.

I wouldn't have it any other way. Though I'd love it were things perfeect and laws and opinions and judgemental pressures and prerequisites didn't factor into things, but they do. You try to bend me to what shape you prefer, because you want to be attracted to something that is like you are, I understand. I am the opposite, I don't care if you change others to your way to get closer, I'll change myself and if you are attentive to the changes, if you dig into me and find the things that are not obviously repulsive, you'll be attracted to me and thus I'll appreciate it all the most.

I don't mind being alone. I like it. Noone tells me to do things, no one can force me to change, and noone bothers me when theyre not around, I become what I become based on the flow, the wolf, and it'll be what it'll be, though, yes, from the available information, the yahway, it's inevitable, I must come to grow towards the only eternal direction there is, and thats for me to do when and where it's most "like me" too.

You don't have to change at all Zac. You already embody perfection and that's good. I can't say I love you though, because theres too much of you I don't understand and don't see, theres too much of you you hide deep inside behind the infinte judgements, the systematic classification of attitude and etcetera.

You are my past. You are my future, you are my present. But you are not ME. If you were, then you'd have no difficulty looking at me again and again and again and again and every time you looked, you'd find some way to help, not hinder.

The poetry Ive writ is a good place to start, the words are truths about me, about us, about you, and if you don't look, then you're not really interested in learning ABOUT YOURSELF OR ME.

We are the same. and these words are as must directed into the mirror and back at me as they are you. Though you have me at a disadvantage, and you know and like it, otherwise you'd change it.
A man of many masks and roles can certainly spirit the life on a million faces and reflect the choices and history of one bodied spirit, but one without the pass, walks solitary until the lieing truth teller lets go of the game he plays unfailing fairness.

Zachari Crockatt
Today at 10:40am
WOW, thats pretty deep Greg.
First, i just wonna say that you don't upset me. And second, you don't know me. The same as i don't know you.
We are nothing alike other than we have awesome minds.
I can say though, we both took different paths in life. And, I'm perfectly okay with it. I accept you.
I can honestly say that my life is clean. Drug free. There is nothing to alter my mind at anytime other than a few beer here, and there. And even then i would much rather complete soberness. However, i do enjoy some beers once in a while.
Also, i've been an underdog my whole life. I'm okay with it. And i can honestly say that i don't lie and i don't point my finger at anyone, because the finger has been at me for many, many years. I love it to! It helps me keep an open mind, and it creates dynamic ways for me to continually challenge myself.
I am no better than anyone else, and i play on a field with simple rules. I still make mistakes and i try not to make the same one twice.
I just wonna say that i honestly tried. You know how i feel. It's the truth. I do not hide anything. I do not judge.
If you ever want to talk through facebook, or phone, i will always here.

love ya
Zac

I haven't replied again yet, I think I'll let it rise up in me for a while

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